What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that typically includes gaslighting, accusations, criticism, or threats, coming from a person with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissists tend to be egocentric, self-serving, and have low empathy, although not all narcissists have NPD. Narcissistic behavior in men and women may include emotional manipulation, extreme self-obsession, and interpersonally exploitative behavior.
A person with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder may engage in gaslighting behavior to make you question your reality or manipulate you. They may insult, threaten, or accuse you in attempts to control your behavior. A person with NPD may put you down in front of others and lie as a form of gaslighting.
This emotional manipulation is often addressed through talk therapy for narcissistic personality disorder or individual psychotherapy with a licensed therapist.
Make no mistake—these behaviors aren’t just toxic and harmful. They are abusive.
According to the Talkspace article “Narcissistic Abuse: Examples, Signs, and Effects” by Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C, MSW (Talkspace, 2025), narcissistic abuse is a deeply manipulative cycle of control often maintained through tactics like gaslighting, projection, and love bombing. Research shows this form of abuse can lead to serious long-term effects, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and even increased risk of cardiovascular disease. Keohan emphasizes that with therapy and emotional support, survivors can rebuild self-worth, restore trust, and begin to recover from the psychological trauma of narcissistic abuse.
The end goal of a narcissist is to control the other person’s behavior. They may try to control you by withholding money, giving the silent treatment, trying to isolate you from friends or family, or by spreading lies about you, along with verbal, physical, and passive-aggressive behaviors. Experiencing narcissistic abuse can be extremely damaging. It can lead to long-term emotional and psychological damage, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
Working with a professional in emotionally focused individual therapy or emotional counseling can help survivors rebuild trust and self-worth.
If you are a narcissistic abuse survivor, please know that with the right support, recovery is possible.
8 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
Identifying narcissistic abuse is not easy. It doesn’t discriminate because of gender, and anyone can experience it. The victim may think the abuse is their fault, leading to feelings of guilt and shame. Learning to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step in the recovery process for a narcissistic abuse survivor.
1. Gaslighting
Gaslighting breaks down the victim’s ability to trust their own memory, perceptions, and sanity. It’s one of the most common signs of a narcissist and a red flag in toxic relationships.
The abuser may gaslight you in a few different ways. They might deny that an event ever happened (when you know it did), making you question your memory. They might trivialize your emotions, make you question yourself or your sanity, and lead you to believe you are the one who is in the wrong. The abuser will lead you to not trust your perception of reality and may even encourage you to believe you are the one who is mentally ill.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that, unfortunately, is very effective in causing the victim to question their own memory, instincts, and feelings, causing the victim to feel “crazy.”
Some survivors even ask themselves, “Am I a narcissist?” due to prolonged manipulation.
Gaslighting can sound like,
“You’re just imagining things.”
“That didn’t happen.”
“I think you need help.”
If you are a narcissistic abuse survivor and a victim of gaslighting, you may feel like everything you do is wrong. You may notice you’re becoming more anxious and less confident than you used to be and find yourself apologizing often, even when you don’t know what you’re apologizing for. Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to deceive and control the victim.
2. Emotional and verbal abuse
Individuals with NPD are often verbally and emotionally abusive because they seek to control you and tear you down. A narcissistic abuse survivor may have become so used to the emotional abuse that they began to believe they deserved it.
Emotional abuse is characterized by behavior that intends to harm your spirit and your self-confidence. This might include calling you stupid, threatening to hurt you, or lying.
Survivors of narcissistic abuse may experience narcissistic depression or symptoms similar to anxiety and PTSD.
Verbal abuse can include tactics such as accusing, blaming, belittling, and bullying. Demanding, ordering, undermining, and shaming are also forms of verbal abuse.
Threatening and raging are more obvious abuse tactics, while criticism, sarcasm, name-calling, interrupting, or opposing might be more subtle. You may be thinking, “I use sarcasm and name-calling with my friends all the time, but we don’t mean anything by it.” Not all of these behaviors indicate the presence of NPD — context, intention, and frequency are important to consider — but emotional and verbal abuse are damaging, and a manipulation tactic to be aware of. You do not deserve — nor did you cause — the abuse.
3. Projection
Narcissistic projection involves blaming the victim for their behavior.
This is an example of how a narcissist thinks — often blaming others to preserve their ego.
For instance, a narcissistic abuser may accuse their partner of being unfaithful when they are actually the ones engaging in the behavior. The narcissist might also blame the victim for something they didn’t do, creating confusion and causing the victim to question their reality.
This blame-shifting is one of the 12 traits of a narcissist and is common among those with vulnerable narcissism.
4. Isolation
Narcissistic abuse includes forcing you to become dependent on your abuser.
This isolating tactic is a hallmark of manipulative narcissist behavior.
This is often done by isolating you from friends, family, or access to outside services and support (like having a cell phone, access to the internet and a computer, private access to your own email account, etc.) through control, manipulation, or emotional/verbal abuse.
By detaching you from your support system, the abuser can have control over you. This is done by making comments about how they dislike your friends or family, how you spend too much time with loved ones, or by making negative comments about your loved one’s behaviors to change how you feel about them.
5. Threats of physical violence
An abuser may experience sudden attacks of uncontrolled rage that causes you emotional distress or physical harm. Rage is a common trait among narcissists.
These traits are especially prominent in an overt narcissist or a sociopath with narcissistic personality disorder.
Aggressive, intimidating behavior, bullying or manipulation are all forms of narcissistic abuse.
Narcissists may engage in threats of harm to control you and keep you from leaving or spending time with family or friends. They may say things like, “You’ll be sorry if you leave!” or “I will hurt you if you leave.”
6. Constant criticism and insults
Narcissists’ approach to controlling and manipulating you is to make you feel worthless and dependent on them. This emotional attack can lead to extreme self-obsession and self-absorbed personality traits in both the abuser and the victim over time.
They will devalue you and others so that they look and feel superior to everyone else. A narcissist is unable to empathize with your feelings or understand your perspective. Constant degrading, criticism, and insulting are telltale signs of narcissistic abuse.
7. Love bombing
A narcissist will love bomb someone to lure them or keep them in a relationship.
Love bombing is a manipulative narcissist tactic, especially common in emotionally abusive relationships.
Love bombing includes intense displays of affection, admiration, and grand gestures. This behavior can happen at any stage of the relationship, but it is most common at the beginning. Love bombing is intense and may include the person with NPD oversharing or pressuring you to commit to them soon, causing internal conflict and confusion for the victim.
8. Hoovering
Yes, hoovering, not hovering. Hoovering is a form of abuse that a narcissist uses to manipulate you back into the relationship. This toxic behavior reflects how narcissists think and fear abandonment.
If they feel they are losing you, they will change their tactics and engage in emotional blackmail that can include love bombing, faking crises, stalking, validating you, being intimate with you, dazzling you with gifts, compliments or promises, and making you feel good. Once things are “better” and you think that the narcissist has changed, the abusive behavior will resume. This toxic behavior tends to stem from a deep-seated fear of abandonment and the need for control.
Seeking Support? Try Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
If you are a narcissistic abuse survivor, consider seeking support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse and also seeking therapy.
Working with a therapist who specializes in individual therapy for relationship issues can provide you with tools for recovery.
Therapy for narcissistic abuse recovery can help you soothe your nervous system and improve your quality of life. Enduring narcissistic abuse is traumatic. You may be struggling to unpack the experiences on your own, and you may need to learn to trust yourself and others again.
For those unsure where to begin, searching “anxiety therapy near me” or “individual counseling” may lead you to the right provider.
Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery at Reflection Psychology
At Reflection Psychology, we specialize in the treatment of trauma and PTSD. We offer individual psychotherapy and trauma-informed emotional counseling to support deep healing.
Our expert clinicians utilize evidence-based therapies and holistic treatments to help you heal. We can help you process your experiences in a safe, contained environment so you can recover from the abuse you endured.
Our team also helps clients explore questions like “How do I stop being a narcissist?” or “Can a narcissist change?” to support deeper insight and accountability.
We offer online therapy for narcissistic abuse recovery for Florida residents.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is possible, and though the journey may take time, with the right support, you can feel like yourself again!
Whether you’re exploring talk therapy for narcissistic personality disorder or wondering “I think I’m a narcissist,” we offer compassionate care.
If you’re feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and experiencing mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety, or depression, therapy for narcissistic abuse recovery can help.
We are here for you. Schedule an appointment or a free consultation and speak with one of our compassionate, highly-trained clinicians today.
